I don’t even know how to describe it. I didn’t think I would be the one to catch feelings for two guys at the same time.. I think the word I’m looking for is indecisive. I need to make decisions. About boys and which one I want. 

Or maybe I don’t…

One IS gone… and won’t be back til May possibly even August. Maybe I can have some fun til then with boy #2 ;) but at the same time, I feel bad for doing that because even if I did have fun with #2, I’m still texting and calling and skyping boy #1 everyday… and I can’t hook up with boy #2 and talk to boy #1 at the same time because I would feel bad and I think I need to follow my heart first and foremost. 

And actually I don’t even think I have feelings for #2, theres just that physical attraction we both have towards eachother and I can’t stop it when we’re together… Smh. 

And although boy #2 doesn’t compare to #1, they’re both pretty wonderful. Except #2 is more… I want to say compatible, but that doesn’t do it justice. Or make sense for that matter because #1 and I are pretty perfect. 

Fuck polygamy man, hahaha. Just kidding of course… 

Anyway, I think I just figured it out in this post. Play with #2 for now, when #1 comes home, I cut the ropes with #2. Probably easier said than done but shit, I guess I’ll figure it out.